Why I am raising my kids Catholic: Part II

     I have always been generally a big fan of ceremonies and traditions.  This is largely because -regardless of the situation- I never know what I am supposed to be doing.  I really feel like there should be a manual out there for people like me that give hints onto how to behave when running into an acquaintance at the grocery store, or attending a party when you only know the host.  (Protip: Find a deli tray and shove your mouth full of food as fast and grotesquely as possible to ward off any potential social interaction.)

     Now that I have a little one, my whole life is centered around little ceremonies and routines.  Kids- well, actually probably adults too- need the little rituals and celebrations that mark the passage of time and remind us that there are patterns that guide our daily lives.  We sing a song at bedtime; We wave goodbye to the water at the end of the bath; We hug when daddy comes home from work; these are necessary predictabilities in an overwhelming world, and deviation from the pattern can prove pretty perilous for everyone involved.
     While Catholicism does not necessarily address interaction to quite that level of detail, I have found religion to be a comfort in marking both important and trivial life events.  When I decided on a life partner, I really wanted to celebrate the occasion with my family and community, in a way that was both solemn, but joyful.  There is a ceremony for that.  When Amani was born I wanted to present her to the world in a way that both cherished her as a precious entity, and initiated her as a member of the human family.  There's  a ceremony for that too. There's  a ceremony for just about everything.  If you need event planning ideas, the Catholics can definitely get you started.
     Recently, my friend's husband died.  It was sudden, and left my friend to care for her baby girl without a partner.  We were all shocked and frightened.  What do we say?  What do we do?  How can we help?  There were no words true enough to express our feelings.  There were no actions that will bring peace.  So we did the only thing we knew: we had a ceremony.  The ceremony that our ancestors had prescribed and shared for millenniums   We sat together and mourned.  We read words from the wise and listened to songs that might lift our spirits.  We reflected on our own lives, our children, and our spouses.  We were grateful for another day.  We remembered that his was not the first death, nor will it be the last.

     In her book To Dance with God, Gertrud Mueller Nelson points out how ceremony and tradition make an event both special and ordinary.  They create a space that both allows for the sacred and the commonplace. They create point through which we celebrate the individual, but also join with the whole of human experience.

     Now there has been this terrible atrocity in Newtown, right at the time when the Catholic Church reflects on God's presence during a time of darkness, cold and desolation.  What do we do? How do we go on when it seems like everything is pretty much just...terrible...forever?  We light a lot of candles, and sing a lot of songs.  We reflect on what happened and where we are headed.  (The Catholics are really big on reflection.)  We try to be extra nice to people, and eat a lot of chocolate.  We remember that under the barren, cold, joyless surface, there is promise- within the world and within each person.  Somehow, by singing songs, and making cards, and making an effort to bring a smile to loved ones, I reminded that there is a sacredness to life, and I am comforted that I am not alone.
     I want Amani to know that this world is not just meaningless wasteland.  I want her to be able to have markers throughout her life that remind her to reflect on who she is, where she is going, and the role she is playing within the Body of Christ.  I want her to know that she is not alone, and that there is a path that she can follow, both when things are happy and sad.  

I mean- how could anyone possibly navigate on their own.

The Ultimate Swing Vote

     So, all the election data is in and organized, and as a lot of papers and analysts noted pre-election, it appears as though about half of Catholics voted Democrat.  This makes me both happy and sad.  On one hand, it means that despite the relatively massive crush between Republicans and Catholic leadership, American Catholics are still pretty much thinking independently regarding their politics.  Most support gay marriage and birth control, and will choose health care for all over lower taxes. So that makes me happy; there are liberal Catholics out there- like just under 40 million of them.  Woot!  Holla at you!  (Does anyone even say that anymore?  Well, whatever.  I'll holla if I want to.)
    Then on the other hand, the numbers show that about half of Catholics are voting Republican, which is a pretty distinctive shift from how Catholics used to vote.  Just a generation or two ago, Catholics were pretty much solidly Democrat.  These were the blue collar Irish and Italian immigrants that were pro-union, and naturally, as Catholics, had no issue with big government.  This generation who were interested in social justice and saw the value of multiculturalism, ushered in the changes of Vatican II.  But it seems like the very minute Vatican II came into play, the backlash  is taking the American Church to places it has never been before.  With the American bishops so fervently condemning Democrats for supporting women's issues and homosexuality, it makes me feel like the Church is more interested in condemning "sinners" than they are fighting for peace and helping the poor.  I don't remember Jesus doing much condemning of people at all.
Oh, except for church leadership.  He did a lot of condemning of them.
     So now there is this "Year of Faith" that is supposed to clue people into the real meaning of Vatican II.
RIGHT.  The real meaning.
Ugh.
Meanwhile, the Pope is calling a meeting of the bishops in an attempt to address this issue of people leaving the faith is droves.  Hmmm...what could be driving them away?
I wonder though.  It is the younger generation of Catholics that tend to be more conservative  (or, "brown nosers", as I like to call them)  Does that mean that eventually the old generation will just die off and it will just be me and Colbert waiting around for Mardi Gras and watching Godfather movies?
That would be pretty awesome actually.

An Open Letter to Vatican II

      Let me just start by saying I never write letters like this.  I mean, like any good Catholic I am a big fan of all kinds of Ecumenical Councils, but I am just not the kind of girl to write fan mail to major historic gatherings, be they religious, political, artistic, what have you.  But when I heard that your 50th anniversary began this week, I just had to write and let you know how much I appreciate you. 

     To begin, can I say that I cannot believe you are already 50 years old?  Honestly, you do not seem a day over 15; 25 tops.  The way people are arguing over the changes you implemented in the Church, you would think you were fresh out of the box.  I just love the way that from your very beginning, you shook up the more inaccessible leaders, policies, practices, of the old Church and gave them the push to get out there and be part of the modern world.  As I am sure you know, there is still quite a scene going on even today about your core message, and frankly, I think it is brilliant!  I love how you are still rockin' your primary concern, dialogue between lay people and the leadership.

Is it weird to have an ideological crush on a long deceased pope?

     I am just so grateful that I didn't have to suffer in the Church before you were around.  I cannot imagine how distant the Church must have seemed: Mass in Latin, nuns sequestered away in closed convents, the outright condemnation of other faiths.  I could not have handled it.  Then Pope John XXIII comes along and is all "Equality!  Justice!  Tolerance!"  

God, I-I just love your work.

     I think though, if I had to choose, because I honestly love so many of your principles, I think my favorite is that the Church must engage with the entire world and be a part of solving world problems.  It is just so right on, and written so perfectly.   Love it!  Just love it!

     I do worry that there is a movement to repeal some of my favorite of your tenets : redoing the mass to include Latin?  The rebuke of American nuns?  It's all a little scary.

But that is not what I am writing about today.  I am writing to give a huge shout out to you, Second Vatican Council, by far my favorite of all the Vatican Councils, maybe of all Church councils ever.  (Although you kinda have to love Nicea, right?)  Here's to fifty more years of continuing the Church's relevant presence in the modern world!

Kick Ass Catholic of the Day

Hero of the hour?  Melinda Gates.
She is smart, and well spoken; she is an incredible philanthropist, and an amazing feminist.
Recently, she announced that her foundation is donating $560 million to provide birth control to women in impoverished countries.  This step has potential to improve the lives of families because, despite the Catholic Church's distinct distaste for birth control, the facts remain that access to birth control has almost immeasurable benefits for women, children and communities at large.
Gates foundation's push for the empowerment of women and betterment of the lives of the impoverished is reason enough to make her kick-ass.  However, it is her polite but firm disinterest in the Church hissy fit that just makes me love Gates all the more.
Upon the announcements of her foundation's new move, conservative Catholics FREAKED out.  They accused her of eugenics, of not being truly Catholic, of being "dangerous".  And she took on this all-too-amazing "Mommy's working now. Go play somewhere else" attitude that makes me want to hug her.   Without even breaking her polite smile, she just nods and remarks, "We're not going to agree on everything, and that's okay".
So great.  So great!
Here's why:
The bishops and popes can holler all they want about the misuse of God's gift of sexuality or whatever, but the fact remains, the immorality of birth control is not just highly controversial within the church, it is not even official Church dogma.  It's not in the Bible.  It is not in the Catechism.  Most Catholics are perfectly fine with birth control.  Not to mention birth control HELPS PEOPLE.  Clearly, this is just another issue that the modern Church leadership needs to get over.  And Ms. Gates is so cool about it, she is all "You can go ahead and yell.  I'll just be over here improving the world."
So cool.

For your nerding pleasure...

I know I haven't written in a little while; summer, you know?  Stuff gets busy.  Anyway, I don't have time to write a proper post right now, but I saw this and it is awesome, so I thought I would share.  One of these days I will post about how there is not a contradiction between science and religion, but for now, there is this.

On the plus side, I am fairly confident that my nine-month-old knows what HHS stands for.

Hey!  Obamacare was ruled constitutional!  That is great...kind of...
No, it is good, definitely.  I totally believe in health care for all.
Okay, I am a little bummed because I was kinda hoping that it wouldn't pass and the Dems would try to pass a bill with the public option but... health care for all!  Yeah!


     There is just this one tiny thing, that is actually kind of a big thing for the Catholic Church.  It's that Health and Human Services mandate.  See, mandating that employers cover contraception is a huge deal for the Catholic leadership, and they are just beating us lay people over the head with it.  It is kind of hard to ignore.  I mean, that is the point really is for the leadership: to get the laity to take notice and to stand up to politicians.  So they do homily and brochures and the Fortnight for Freedom, which is supposed to be a time of education and prayer and get us Catholics all engaged and in a tizzy.
     I guess the whole thing is working out for them pretty well, because I have been reading and thinking about it a lot, and despite being fairly liberal, pro-choice, and pro contraception, I do not know what to think about this HHS mandate.
     So the deal with the mandate is that Catholic institutions, like hospitals and schools, are required to provide insurance that covers contraception.  There are a couple issues with this:
     1.  First of all, while contraception is a very controversial issue within the Church, and most lay people side in favor of it being just fine, that is not the point.  The point is that Church leaders resent having to provide to their employees something that the Church officially views as wrong.
     2.  Now truthfully, actual churches are granted exceptions to the mandate; it is only the religiously affiliate organizations that would have to comply, because the state has decided they aren't really religious, just "affiliated".  The Church does not appreciate being told that their organizations are not really religious.

I have seriously been very close to obsessed with this issue to the degree that I often will be drifting off to sleep at night mumbling to myself about tax law exemptions.
It just seems like both sides have valid arguments.

• On one hand, it is not right to make a supposedly Catholic organization do something that they are clearly against.  Regardless of whether or not I agree with the Church's stance on this, there are people who feel that some forms of contraception are tantamount to murdering your children, and if I felt that way about an issue, I wouldn't want the government forcing me to PAY for other people to engage in it.  No one should have to sponsor behavior that is against their religion.
• On the other hand, no one should be denied a medical care they need just because their employer believes it is wrong.  That also would be an infringement on freedom of religion.
• Then again, the Church will pay for contraception if it is a case of medical necessity for the woman in the case of hormonal issues or cysts or something.  Plus, contraception is not really that expensive, and is fairly easy to get, sometimes even free.  So the Church is not exactly preventing a person from accessing contraception just because they don't cover it with insurance.
• Then again, a lot of these Catholic organizations take in a lot of money from the state, so if they are going to be taking tax money, they should probably provide the care that all other employers are expected to provide.
• But the Catholic institutions argue that the money from the state is just compensation from the community for a service the state would otherwise have to provide: care for the sick, homeless, orphaned and elderly.  The Church argues that they are happy to help the state- as these efforts are part of their Christian duty- but they will be forced to stop helping if the state mandates the distribution of contraception.
• However, when you think about it, the Church is paying for contraception either way.  They are either giving money to the insurance company who then gives contraception to the employee, or the Church is giving money to the employee who then uses some of their money to buy contraception. So, one way or another, Church money is going towards something the Church doesn't like.

I am going to be honest with you on this, and I am kind of leaning towards the Church with this one.  I know.  I know.  I feel like a bad woman even thinking about siding against anything that has to do with access to contraception, but I feel like the whole you-can-get-contraception-anywhere-for-really-cheap argument is a really good point.

But convince me otherwise.  I want to be convinced.

Do not practice theology while operating heavy machinery.

     So I have been reading this book by Tim O'Connell, Principals for a Catholic Morality.
     And when I say I have been reading it, I have been reading it in the way that one might read a book that has been sitting on their bedside table since high school and yet he or she has only reached page 70.
     That kind of reading.
     It is a good book, but it covers 2000 years in the history of moral theology in the first 19 pages.
     And then it starts to get dense.
    You could seriously reflect on any single sentence for weeks at a time.
     And during that time you might get distracted and start reading Harry Potter.

     Anyway, I though that maybe if I start blogging about some of the more interesting sentences it might help me stay focused.
     The book begins with the idea that theology is the constant interpretation of God's continual revelation.
     Were you able to get through to the end of the sentence?  Because if not, I totally understand; this book definitely has that effect on people. I get towards the end and I am like "Okay, long word, long word, blah blah, blah...I wonder what I will make for dinner..."
     And that's even when it is saying something as exciting as "God's continual revelation".
     That's not a direct quote, of course, because typing the direct quote would immediately make me go to sleep.  But despite its inscrutability, it is a refreshing idea:
     We are always learning about God.  Time and cultures change, and we are always needing to figure out what to do in new situations.
     That's what it means, and it is so nice to hear.  It flies in the face of all this "eternal and unchanging Word of God" nonsense that conservatives use to fight against social issues they don't like.  (Truthfully, if you were to press them on it, they know the Word of God changes at least SOMETIMES. Very few people consider it a sin to wear garments of mixed fibers, for example.)
     So what does that mean ultimately?  It means that, if we follow Tim O'Connell's  ideas about theology, then we need to THINK about God, and the universe, and what it all means for our daily lives, then make decisions for ourselves, in our time and our situation.

 I can tell you guys are excited about this as I am.
Those of you who are awake, anyway.

Okay.  Next paragraph...