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Grit Between Toes

Level: Advanced

     For our Maundy Thursday celebration, we did not wash feet. Growing up, washing feet was so awkward for me, that I would sometimes run from the room in fear. I didn't want to do it, so we didn't, and I am kind of regretting that now.
     It is a big deal in the Catholic Church; an act Jesus performed on his disciples to show humility, intimacy and servitude. That's an important point of reflection. Also, because it is done every year at every church, it is a big cultural element of Catholic heritage. Pope Francis is so scandalously liberal that the whole Catholic community waits to see who he will be washing this year: prisoners? women? Muslims? What kind of crazy thing will he do next?! I want my kids to be a part of Catholic culture, so I think it is important to incorporate it.
     Also, Maundy Thursday is a remembrance of the Last Supper; a supper Jesus knew was to be his last. He told his friends that he was about to die. He went to the garden and prayed that he would not die, but when the soldiers came, he faced the most difficult path of his life bravely calmly and openly. Facing down life's discomforts is a critical part of being a person, and this little reminder is a harmless practice that is a good reminder. Next year I think I am going to have to incorporate it. It will be good for the kids and good for me.

My Wildest Fantasies Are Theological Discussions

     Hey there, stay-at-home mom.
     Are you both intellectually unstimulated and looking to hone your feminism skills?
     Are you both filled with righteous indignation and really obnoxious?
     Guess what:
     Twinsies!
     What I recommend is fighting with people in Facebook comments.

     Ha, ha. Just kidding; I would not recommend it to anyone. While I like arguing with people on Facebook, we all have heard stories about the abuse that goes on in Internet comments, and I don't want you to sue me, so don't do it. As for me, I primarily argue with my friends who are thoughtful, polite and awesome, despite being WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!! Engaging in debates online I have learned quite a bit from my comment-section opponents, and have had people tell me that they also have learned things from me.
     One argument I find myself in with some regularity is the wisdom over the value and or truth held within religion, or as it is more commonly known in comment section, "Religious People Are Bigoted Backwards Morons Who Inflict Suffering On Others". These kind of Facebook debates are some of my favorites because they are a rare opportunity for me to engage in philosophical discussion. This could almost never happen in my off-line life. Though my regular companions are certainly thoughtful and philosophically astute, neither Amani nor Warren have a lot of experience with words more than three syllables, so the depth of our discussion is fairly limited. Essentially, Facebook debates are a way to engage in a thought provoking theological conversation that doesn't devolve into requests for grapes.
     This is why I want to debate Ricky Gervais. Well, I don't want to debate the ACTUAL Ricky Gervais, because he seems descend fairly quickly into insults when debating theists, but I do want to debate the imaginary Ricky Gervais that has been living in my head since I saw the real Ricky Gervais debate Steven Colbert on the existence of God. The good news is that I can! In fact, I have been debating pretend-Ricky-Gervais all day.

This is how it would go:

Gervais: “If we take something like any fiction, any holy book, and destroyed it, in a thousand years’ time that wouldn’t come back just as it was. Whereas if we took every science book and every fact and destroyed them all, in a thousand years they’d all be back, because all the same tests would be the same result.”  (That part's not imaginary. That's how Gervais ended his debate with Colbert, with congratulations from both the audience and Colbert).

Me: Sure, I think a lot of people think that way: religion is flighty and trivial, and science is irrefutable and permanent. However, history would suggest that the opposite. One thousand years ago, even 5,000 years ago, there was religion and it is still very much the same: forces beyond the comprehension of man witnessed through the elements of nature and humanity; the essentials of kindness, gratitude, justice, and sacrifice; the connection between music, people and the divine: the importance of quite reflection. It seems to me that the essential elements are all there. On the other hand, just 500 years ago, people were pretty sure that sickness was a result of imbalanced humors. One thousand years ago, people thought the sun went around the Earth. Science is changing minute to minute. A very large part of what society accepts as scientific "truth" is the result of greed, political agenda, bias, human error, or ignorance. Both religion and science are developed by humans, and humans mess up a lot. That is guaranteed to be the case in 1,000 years as well.

Gervais: Wow! What a well thought out argument. Given that I said that thing about fiction and textbooks in February and it is now the middle of March, your answer was worth the wait. You have given me a new perspective on religion.

Me: Yes, I have that effect on people.

Gervais: You should be the one on Colbert. Let's go right now!

Me: Hooray!

Then I meet Colbert and he and I high-five the whole interview and fly off into the clouds in his hot rod.

*SCENE*

My Lenten Activity Brain Dump: How Liberals Do Lent

     Obviously, we started with chocolate chip pancakes for Maudy Tuesday, because will be a cold day in Hell the day I skip Fat Tuesday. Warren and I WENT TO town of Fat Tuesday, and Amani suddenly decided 9a) she hated happiness and (b) chocolate chip pancakes weren't her thing (aka: hating happiness). She opted to eliminate the middle man and go for straight chocolate chips. (That's my girl!)
     We skipped Ash Wednesday because I wanted to remind God that I am a terrible person, but that's over with, and now I am in it to win it.
     This is what I got on the docket for Lenten practises:

(1) I am trying to do some kind of God-related activity with Amani and Warren on Sundays. The first Sunday we sorted through the Seeds booklets that Amani gets at school. They are cute little pamphlets . They are from Pflaum Publishers, and each contain an activity that corresponds with each week of the Liturgical calendar, They literally take about 5 minutes, and Amani really likes them.
Huh. I also just noticed they have free online activities. I shall check those out and report back.

(2) Amani's preschool also sent home a Lenten Calendar from Creative Communications. We followed a similar one for Advent, and I am hoping to at least do one or two activities from here. One thing they suggest is a Jesus tree, which, from what I am reading, is a lot like a Jesse Tree. If we end up doing that I'll let you know how it goes. If you end up doing it, will you let me know?


(3) We are going to make pretzels. We did this last year, and they were awesome, so we are going to do it again. One of my friends asked me what pretzels have to do with Lent, and I was all, "Wow. You really don't know anything about our Church history, do you?" Naturally then had to turn around and I look it up on Google. The short answer is because it looks like arms folded in prayer. If you want the long answer you can read it at the page I read. Or you can read this page, which I am including mostly because it refers to "holy pretzels" which I find hilarious.

(4) Last Sunday Amani and I made a prayer hand, that we are now using to guide us through bedtime prayers. I got the idea from a few Pinterest pages I follow, but I think the things I chose to focus on for each finger are not really working for us. I chose to focus on "Those Closest to our heart", "Prayers for God's guidance", "Things we are Thankful For", "Confessing our sins", and "Prayers for ourselves". I think I was too focused on making it fit with the correct finger, rather than things that will spiritually feed Amani. It's going fine. Amani is kind of into it, although I think that's primarily because we lay in bed together and cuddle while we do it. She does not like prayer- or being made to do prayer- or doing prayer with me. I don't know. Anyway, it's going fine, but I think I need to tweak it a little. Right now I feel like it is a little overwhelming. I'm thinking our new prayers will include (1) People and animals we love and people and animals who need help (2) Something we are thankful (3) A place we saw God (4) A way we helped (5)Something we will do better tomorrow. It feels a little simpler.

So, that's what I got rolling around in my head for this season. We'll see how it goes, although I'll be damned if we don't do those pretzels. They were GOOD.
What are some things you are planning on doing for Lent?

If you are trying to compliment me, that's a very poor choice of words...

If that's a compliment, it's a poor choice of words.

     I was working on a post about being pro-life and a feminist, when someone forwarded me this great article by Rene Contreras De Loach. Her quote at the end of her article was basically everything I wanted to say in my post, only better.

If you haven’t experienced abuse, mutilation, miscarriages, oppression, wage gaps, or been denied necessary medical care because you can’t afford it… GOOD. I am happy for you and I truly mean that. But in this wide world you are the exception, not the rule and you should be grateful, not judgmental. I hope this helps people understand the wide range of issues around the world (50 countries) that women and men marched for.

I have now begun stalking her on Facebook and a have collected a fair amount of evidence she and I would be awesome friends, as well as fantastic leads in a Catholic-themed buddy-cop film.

     What originally motivated to write my post was reading about the Women's March organizers declining the support of the New Wave Feminists.  FOX News and other conservative forums exploded, screaming about how liberal feminists are hypocrites and limit inclusion to only those that support the liberal agenda. The New Wave Feminists were welcome at the March, did March, and had a great time. That said, there is no way the organizers of the March could have included the New Wave Feminists as "Partners of the March" because, despite what they claim, New Wave feminists aren't feminists.
     Before I get into all this, I think it's important to clarify that I believe human life begins at conception and I think that any abortion is a tragedy. In short, I am pro-life. That said, I am pro all-life. I see the value of every human being as equally sacred. I am sure that a New Wave Feminist would say she feels the same way, as do most people in the traditional pro-life movement.  However, the rhetoric used in the pro-life movement tells a very different story.
     Look at how the pro-life agenda advertises itself. Pictures of fetuses in utero are moving, but ignore the woman carrying the fetus who has her own health, her own mind, and her own family, all of which are treasured by God. The pro-life arguement almost never mentions the woman's needs, or if so, they are granted as a secondary thought.
     Then again, when the pro-life agenda does include imagery or description of a woman, I often find myself wishing they wouldn't. The woman is always portrayed shallow, lust-crazed and irresposible or a gullible, naive, children forced into evil. When presented with real life situations such as woman who's heart simply could not support two lives, or woman hemmoraging before the child was viable on its own, pro-lifers often think these stories are simply casualties of war.

"...Love your neighbor as yourself..." Mark 12:30

     But see, that's exactly the mentality that Renee and I will be fighting in our new series, "Nuns of Steel: NYPD. There are no casualities of war in the eyes of God . What's more, it's not a war. Women are not the enemy. They are real people with who are walking a line between life and death, as all pregnant women do. We as Catholics need to respect that. We need to give women dignity: assume that she made every choice anyone would have made to find herself in this situation.  We have to recognize that she is considering her situation with open eyes and a good heart because she is an actual good person.
     There are certainly careless, shallow, and irresponsible, women out there. Some of them might hope to make abortions as easy as clipping toe nails, but that's not how we are called to approach people. Looking at someone with the eyes of God does not mean looking at them from the stand point of judgement, pity, condescension or disdain. It means looking at a person as you would yourself. It is the job of the Church to change her heart through the word of God, not shrug their shoulders, with a "guess you should have thought ahead, kiddo"; and certainly not to force her, angry and afraid, to carry a child to term regardless of the consequences to her mind and body. To think that there have been medical professionals who have forced women to suffer, and sometimes die all in the "name of God" turn my stomache. If we are to avoid such a situation in the future, abortion needs to be legal; plain and simple.

The power of prayer ala Facebook

     Right now my family is experiencing some medical trauma. It's taxing for everyone, and naturally I want help, but my family lives across the country, so there's really  not much I can do. The most helpful action for me at this point is to actively leave them alone and wait to be contacted. It's so frustrating.
     My mom contacted family members and her community to ask for prayers. She wants me to do the same, but I don't think I am going to. I don't understand that kind of prayer. I should probably have a better handle on it since  I have grown up around it,but asking people to pray for strangers has always seemed a little absurd to me. What is that supposed to accomplish?
     I can understand prayer as meditation. I can see the value of regularly reflecting on issues you want on the forefront of your mind. Working towards peace, remembering sacrifices of others, aspiring for virtue: I can see that. Prayer can be a tool for establishing focus and setting priorities.  That all make sense, but why ask for prayers from others?  For strangers? What do the people in my cousin's synagogue care about some baby on the other side of the country? I'm sure they are politely sympathetic and all, but I'm fairly certain that no magic is going to occur if you reach a certain number of prayers. When Warren was sick, his preschool teachers included him in the church's list of intentions. I guess that was nice. Maybe it helped them feel like they were doing something.
     I read an article wherein the author railed against people who offered to pray for his family while his son was sick. The author said that prayer was a way for outsiders to make themselves feel better without taking any action. I can see what he's saying, but that's not really a fair assessment. When I say I'm praying for someone, I don't mean "appealing to that same supernatural entity to help".  I mean I think about them throughout the day. I hold their issue in my heart with concern, and reflect on whatever situation it is I am praying about. I guess prayer may not help directly in something tangible, but reflection moves people to take action as he suggests: "Donate to families in need or medical research. Contact your representatives when a vote comes up that might inhibit scientific advancement. Call a friend or family member who’s in crisis and be a compassionate ear. "
     Apparently all my praying about my family is moving me to participate in social media, because I have been praying, and that's really what I want to do. I know it sounds ridiculous. I'm not suggesting that praying to our high priest Mark Zuckerberg is going to affect any change for the people I'm close to, but it will change the ads in my feed, and that's a start.
No, seriously, I do think that there is some spiritual value in participating in Facebook. It sounds bizarre, but stay with me on this.
     Facebook feeds into a Catholic mentality; think about it. Catholics do not believe you can really experience the fullness of God except through other people. Something experienced alone might be great, but it's magnified when you share it with someone else. This is an eternal truth.
Why else would people be so fixated on it? People like to experience things with others. Discussing and sharing make things more real. It can make the emotion of an event last longer or become clearer. It helps people process.
     Okay, so maybe people only post to make themselves feel good. Is that really so bad? I do feel better when I blog, or tweet, or post.  I want to craft the wording, and put up pictures, and share my experiences with others. Yes, others: as in the people from high school that I am friends with online despite not ever actually talking to them during high school. I do want those people to know what my day was like. I don't think that's selfish, or narcissistic. I think people just like to share, and like to read what others have shared.  When I see posts about other people's struggles, even if I don't know them that well, it affects me. It makes me appreciate where I am at, or feel in solidarity with them sometimes. It is a little strange that I am far more involved in some people's lives through Facebook than when I ever was when saw them in person on a day to day basis, but that's fine. A community is still a community even if it's online. A Facebook community links me to people and creates a more rounded picture of the world, somehow.  I can't decide if I am a completely ridiculous optimist or tragically lonely .

      I imagine group prayer could function very much like a Facebook post; especially in a small community. The petitions at Mass give the community an update on what other members are facing. A list of community intentions would fine tune the trajectory of the congregation. It still doesn't quite make sense, but I guess I can see it.
     Anyway, I'm sure I'll understand it eventually. If I can make a Church of Facebook (TM), I can probably find spiritual fulfillment in just about anything.

Resolutions With Perspective.

A photo posted by Ignatius Press (@ignatius_press) on Jan 1, 2017 at 8:51am PST